08.10.11

Since the last post,a lot of deep thinking has been done. Mostly about life (I continue to be in the mode) and where am I headed? We hear about sucess and hard work and the direct relation of the two. I know some of these sucess stories up close and personally. My dad being one of them. His hard work,determination and the will to go get it is astounding. I don't say this because he's my dad,the hero figure of my life. He has proven himself time and again. Started from literally rags to the riches today. He's silenced his critics, not once lashed back at them. Only proved himself on his mettle. I pride myself on being his daughter. The eldest one. They know him,the world. Ever since I have realized the meaning, the grandeur of sucess and the perks that come with it, I have always equated it to dad's story.

However, I don't know how right I am when I say it. Maybe with time, my opinion will change and I will know this opinion was only a thought for the struggling years.So, they say-nothing grows under a banyan tree. Dad is my banyan tree. I really hope time will change my opinion. Today anything I do has a direct comparison to him. The pressure is absurd sometimes, but who doesn't have pressures to deal with? I take this one as my pressure and deal with it in my own way or don't deal with it at all. The next 3 months will truly test my capacity to endure the struggles that come with growing under someone who has achieved the skies and strives to achieve beyond.

Not like I don't always but today has been a day of great thankfulness. Had an hour long talk with two of my favorite girlfriends and like every time, I find a new found realization to the extent of my love for them. There is a lot to learn every time I speak with them. My gal palfrom college,S and I don't speak as often as we used to. We used to be in the same college,same city. After college life has moved her to a city close by. We don't speak very often but every time we do, we are at it for at least an hour. We are two different people with very similar traits. I don't know if that makes sense,but that is what it is. I feel our small group of 6 actually has 6 very different people but we bond and boy! we are fun.

With a lot of happiness, I wish for a happier post the next time.

-MissRascal

1.10.11

I quit my first job at my dad's company a few months back. Since, I have been preparing for entrances to pursue further studies.Hopefully I will be back to books,classrooms and studying in 6 months. I didn't think I would miss it. I do. Sometimes, it isn't the studying as much as it is being in college. I attended one of the premier institutions of the country.3 years under graduate program and what a program it was. To call education,we didn't really educate ourselves here.But,we did learn some lessons,make some friends(hopefully for life) and above all we had fun.Bunking classes,only taking interest in college fests,irritating the teachers,under performing in academics,whiling time around the college campus,having perfect attendance for lazing at best friend's(read:friends) apartment,eating junk,getting drunk,falling in love(oh! watte love!),late nights,driving,making parents question our life's goals! All of that. I miss those times,I miss that age! I am 2 years older now. Wiser? Maybe,maybe not. Does one realize at 20,how much life will change in a couple of years? I was clueless. Thinking of it now, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. Parents were right when they questioned my goals. I was immature. I had one plan and I didn't see a reason for it to not work. But,it didn't and HEY! I was shattered. I did a couple of courses-language and communication for 6 months and then joined Dad to experience the corporate jungle.5 months there and I knew I wasn't cut out for it.

Take 2 and here I am 5 months hence, still confused with choices and more than anything,with life itself. 2 months to the end of the year,to December. The month I'll be taking the entrances and I still don't have answers to the Biggest questions of my life. What do I want from life? Where do I see myself in the future? Is this what I really want? Will I ever make it?

The agony of it all flashes only once in a while. I am not a disturbed soul. One that is depressed. I have had the most amazing last 5 months, basically lazing and spending time with my mum. Its been good. The love of my life-A, is in the city. Life as you see it,is perfect. When I peek inside me,I know what is looming. Lets hope by the end of this year,I have answers to all my crazy questions.Hopefully 2012 will be the most awaited year. (oooohhh 2012,haha)

-MissRascal