Thinspired

Reading a lot of blogs on 'Being Skinny'. I would like to go back to being 10 kgs less than what I am at the moment. 2009, I weighed 48. We termed it the dream weight. This one time, shopping at one of my favorite jeans brands, I walked in with 'need a 30 waist size'. I tried 4 fits and 2 sizes and finally settled for a 28 which was still loose around the waist. I don't think any shopping experience has made me happier. The sales lady absolutely aware of how thrilled I was..went on to tell me how disappointed she was for not having a 27. I bought two pairs and got one free that day. Sigh, call me vain but I despise the shape I am at the moment. I want my 28 inch waist, my flat stomach and my most treasured thigh gap back. Unfortunately the health is keeping fine. Had I been colitis struck, I would have bled the weight out. Unfortunately mental trauma is not peaking it either. I have thought of binging and purging. But, my dad's threat of sending me to a psychologist keeps me away from adopting that method. Damn you, MBA. I can't fit a gym routine either.

FAT and UGLY.